NLP Ideas:Meta Models

 Seeking to understand vague language

 The meaning of words used by people can be easily misunderstood

For example they have their way of describing an event or issue and those listening will translate and apply meaning from their perspective.

 The NLP process the Meta Model aims to achieve a better understanding of vague language patterns and uses very specific questions for clarification

 

Linguistic research implies that there is a difference between deep and surface structure levels of language.

 From this perspective Deep structure describes the complete experience we go through subconsciously before using the words to deliver our message,

 Surface structure represents the words you speak internally to yourself and audibly to others.

 Somewhere between Deep and Surface structure, without realising it, we may delete, distort and generalise our experience as we inform others.

 

The Meta Model provides techniques to enable you to gain a better understanding of what people are saying and to understand any deletions, distortions or generalisations. It helps you to fill in gaps and connect to a fuller, richer meaning.

 It uses precision questions to manage ambiguity, vagueness, distortions, generalisations and incomplete information. The questions need to be asked in an elegant and non threatening way or the approach could seem to be pedantic or aggressive.

 

Typical incidents where you might want to use this would be when you are wondering:

 

  • Why are you saying this?

  • What exactly are you trying to tell me?

  • What do you want me to do?

  • What do you mean?

 

 

Some examples provide more detail :

 Deletions

We may delete information when we assume others will just know what we mean or maybe we decide it is too trivial to include. For example, we might describe an action without saying who completed it. This sometimes happens when we want to express dissatisfaction and to avoid conflict by naming names.

Examples

  • They never tell you anything - Who exactly doesn’t tell you?

  • It is very difficult – What exactly is very difficult?

  • You don’t want to go there – Where exactly do I not want to go?

  • They are all the same – Who exactly are the same and what are the implied common threads or beliefs?

  

 Mind reading

 This occurs frequently in conversations and are where people think they have interpreted or presume they know what someone else is thinking or feeling. You may have noticed this happening to you or you have done this to others.

 

Examples

  • She is paying no attention to me – How do you know this?

  • I’m certain he would like a big surprise – How can you be sure?

  • She is certain to respond with anger – what make you so sure about this?

 

 Generalisations

 

This happens when people interpret their experience as an absolute truth which applies in all circumstances. When they are operating strongly as part of a belief set they can appear rigid and dogmatic. Frequently there is an element of fear or loss of control to the notion of changing these strongly held views and stereotypes.

 Universal quantifiers

 The language of universal quantifiers includes words like:

 

  • Always

  • Every

  • Never

  • No-one

  • Everyone

  • All

  • Nothing

 

The Meta Model helps the speaker to understand that their statement Is not necessarily based on reality. This helps others to expand and change their perceptions.

 

Learning point

 It is worth reflecting on the deletions, distortions, generalisations and universal quantifiers that you use to develop advanced communication skills and to help others where appropriate to understand where they may not be getting a richer or full picture when constrained by vague language.